Self-Discovery

Let’s Debunk 6 Myths About Dieting, Weight Loss And Beauty Standards

What creates unhealthy relationship with food is the long term dieting for the sole purpose of weight loss.

Long term dieting builds shame, guilt, and judgments around food.

I had my own share of struggle with diets, hence struggling with food.

I am going to debunk 6 myths about dieting, weight loss and beauty standards.

Diet Is What You Need To Reach Happiness:

Eating when you are hungry, stopping when you are full is natural but when you are focused on dogmatically follow a diet (when, what and how much to eat by the T) you can’t focus on your life.

Your brain is occupied with all its mental bandwidth and willpower to keep up on with your demands to control food and your body.

How could you accomplish anything when your brain is already taken? Obsessing and shaming yourself over food or weight takes a lot of mental concentration.

It’s time to make a change when you find yourself in this trap.

Deprivation Is A Great Motivator For Weight Loss:

Dieting means restricting food, which will ultimately lead to binging or overeating. You know that. The stress that you create by not allowing yourself what you want can be worse than sugar, gluten or grain deprivation combined.

If you can’t […]

Why Giving Up On Dieting Is the Best Thing You Can Do?

Countless women and girls go on diets to lose weight but it never works. Meaning we can lose weight by dieting but the weight creeps back at some point in the long run for sure.

I did it for about 2 decades and then I gave up.

Hope it is not going to take you that much time.

Even though the diet culture is so loud and present in our lives, it cannot work.

Being sucked into the diet culture works on the fact that dieting for weight loss purpose does not work in the long run.

Here are the 12 reasons why the diet industry is a big scam:

#1: We’ve been conditioned to believe that the way our body looks is tied to how we live our lives. The way our body looks will eventually make or break us in life. We either end up happy or miserable based on our body size.

#2: We are conditioned to believe that our self-worth and self-esteem is based on our look. You are socialized to believe that you are unhappy because you don’t look good enough for some cultural standards.

#3: So you start dieting in order to fix your body. You either eat fewer calories or eating fewer fats, carb […]

How To Get Rid Of Feeling Ashamed After Binging Or Overeating?

I have been in a place many times in my life when my low body esteem would make me jump on diet plans.

And then, once I ate something I shouldn’t have eaten based on my diet plan -  in order to manage my weight - it could trigger me into feeling ashamed of my own behavior, which led me to binging or overeating even more.

Shame is a silent epidemic and is universal. For women and girls the #1 shame is body image.

Unwanted identities such as “how you suppose to look like” can come from:

Families
Cultural messages
Stereotypes

By being aware of how you talk to yourself – the little voice inside your head when it kicks in saying you ate too much, you blew it or you are disgusting – can make a huge difference how to overcome feeling of shame after a binge.

You can choose to have another voice, a conscious voice in your mind, which is a much softer and kinder voice while you are practicing shame resilience.

Just think about it: the compulsiveness around food whether that is binging or overeating wouldn’t even bother you if you didn’t have body shame.

Most likely you couldn’t care less about emotional eating to begin with if you had zero bad […]

What If You Can Be Happy While You Are Sad? (PART III.)

When you physically injure yourself, you instantly try to get over the pain to feel better. We do this instinctively because when we were children our caretakers would drop everything to take care of our physical injury. As adults we continue the same pattern.

We instantly take care of our physical injuries. How about psychological or emotional injuries?

If you haven’t read Part I. yet click here and if you haven’t read part Part II. then click here.

The 7 main common psychological injuries are:

Rejection
Loneliness
Loss and trauma
Guilt
Rumination
Failure
Low self-esteem

In part I. we discussed rejection and loneliness and in Part II. we discussed loss and trauma, guilt and rumination.

This week I am going to talk about:

Failure
Low self-esteem

Failure

Once we get injured physically or we get sick we alter our activities until we recover. We drink more, sleep more or eat differently what we used to.

The same should go with emotional/mental injuries in order to fully recover.

If we don’t take our time to recover our physical illness can take longer to heal and our psychological injury can cause more damage in our mental/emotional health than we think.

Failure is something we all go through in life. But we are impacted differently. Our conditioning and the way we grew up can have […]

What If You Can Be Happy While You Are Sad? (PART II.)

When you physically injure yourself, you instantly try to get over the pain to feel better. We do this instinctively because when we were children our caretakers would drop everything to take care of our physical injury. As adults we continue the same pattern.

We instantly take care of our physical injuries. How about psychological or emotional injuries?

If you haven’t read Part I. yet please click here.

The 7 main common psychological injuries are:

Rejection
Loneliness
Loss and trauma
Guilt
Rumination
Failure
Low self-esteem

In part I. we discussed rejection and loneliness.

This week I am going to talk about:

Loss and trauma
Guilt
Rumination

#3 Loss And Trauma

As Winch describes it, losing a loved one, being victims of violence or crime, becoming disabled or developing a chronic or life threatening illness can derail our lives and leave deep psychological wounds.

Many of them require the skills of expert mental health professionals.

We also have everyday psychological injuries that can cause emotional damage, such as losing a job, or being betrayed and left behind by a best friend.

Dealing with the aftermath of emotional distress can be overwhelming and can inflict 3 emotional wounds we need to be aware of.

Loss and trauma

Takes away our self-perception, our roles and our very sense of identity.
Tragic events often change our fundamental perception of […]

What If You Can Be Happy While You Are Sad? (PART I.)

When you physically injure yourself, you instantly try to get over the pain to feel better. We do this instinctively because when we were children our caretakers would drop everything to take care of our physical injury. As adults we continue the same pattern.

We instantly take care of our physical injuries. How about psychological or emotional injuries?

There are 2 groups of people. People who are legitimately struggling with addictions, depression or abuse and there are healthy people. But there are a whole bunch of us who are in between these two groups and who are struggling with numbing.

We compulsively and chronically numb ourselves from psychological and emotional injuries.

Whether it is watching too much TV, zoning out on social media for hours, numbing ourselves with food, alcohol or co-dependency we use numbing as a shield against psychological injuries.

We numb ourselves to hide from vulnerability.

Watching your favorite show, checking social media for updates or just indulging in your favorite pie can be rewarding, uplifting and comforting. But what about when you do these things often to avoid life and don’t feel re-charged after, then that’s nothing more then chronic and compulsive numbing from our lives.

One of my favorite books on how to heal common emotional […]

6 Profound Ways To Become A Happier Person

Happiness is something we all want to feel. When you’re happy you feel connected to yourself you feel confident and purposeful. Although happiness might show up in different places in your body as a physical sensation, it always feels so dam good.

We humans are emotional creators. We have emotions and the quality of our life is based on the quality where we live emotionally.

We were all born with a unique personality. Social and environmental conditioning can enhance our born with personality. Happy people tend to be happy even in bad circumstances and sad or angry people find a way to be angry or sad even if their life is good.

[Tweet “True happiness doesn’t lie in trying to get happy. The power lies in making happiness a habit.”]

Defining happiness is multi-dimensional and here are 6 ways to look at it.
Habit change
If you want to live in a different state of mind which effects your emotional and mental well-being, change your default set from being unhappy to being happy.

Training your brain to see the good in every situation is possible.

You can always learn something from every bad situation in your life. Sometimes we learn how handle or react to things differently or […]

Why Trying To Lose Weight Is A Waste Of Time And What To Do Instead

When I used to do one-on-one coaching around weight loss predominantly, I always asked my clients this question below, that I am asking form you now.

What would losing X pounds of fat or X inches would mean for you?

The answers I received were, if I lose weight:

I would feel sexy
I would feel wanted and desired
I would feel finally happy
I would make my husband/boyfriend happy
I would feel powerful, being seen and listened

Although I had my share of struggles with weight and body image insecurity I realized everything I did with weight loss was external. I was reaching outside of myself hoping that if I lose weight and have the look I wanted I would feel better.

But when I lost weight and I got the appearance I wanted, the feeling that I was after was still missing.

Although I got confirmation from others and I felt proud and excited but something was still lacking inside of me. I had a huge mental war and emotional game inside of me about what if I was going to gain back the weight. I felt terrified.

Here is my question for you today? Do you really want to only lose weight more than anything else?

Do you want a […]

Now You Can Feel Finally Full And Manage Your Weight As Well.

The other day I spoke to a yoga studio owner after attending an event. I enjoy talking to people whose work environment requires self-awareness and an interest in personal growth. It’s a great way for me to connect with like-minded people.

She said her weight struggle always involves giving up on dieting and returning to overeating because she likes to eat too much and food makes her happy and relaxed. I said I was not surprised.

Although dieting for weight loss can seem to be the solution for ongoing weight issues and body image insecurities, dieting is actually only the foreplay for overeating, bingeing and telling the universe that you hate you body. 

The cycle is almost inevitable. When you resist food, you say yes to restricting by pushing food out of your mind, controlling your intake and limiting food.

But whatever you resist persists and you will binge or overeat at some point. In addition, our body image insecurities the catalyst for dieting. The more insecure you feel in your body the more you will want to restrict your food intake.

 As I was talking to Emily she said she either restricts food or allows herself to eat anything.

She would love to practice moderation (who wouldn’t) but somehow she […]

How Stop Being Hungry In Order To Manage Your Weight

Both the diet and fitness industry tell you that weight issues are a physical problem and if you want to overcome them, they, must be solved with a physical solution. Hence, you try to shrink your body through diets and exercise. We have a tendency to look at our health and weight struggles from the physical perspective only.

Of course, getting essential nutrients from food and being physically active is crucial to our health. But if we look at weight management from a holistic point of view, it is much more than just physical. Mental attitude or social relationships including family, work and community are also important contributors.

If you want to return to your ideal weight and feel like you are at your best, you have 2 choices. You can get on a new diet and exercise regime – again - or you can try to do something else. This article is about that something else. You may believe it or not, but weight issues can arise from different hunger cues:

Physical hunger: You are hungry for food. Sustained energy (stable blood sugar levels) is only possible if you are eating enough as well as the right types of food.

Emotional hunger: You […]