Philosophy

What’s The Secret Of Normal Eaters And How Can You Become One Of Them?

If for the most part of your life you are trying to lose weight or keep the weight off probably your relationship with food is pretty screwed up.

Most likely you don’t even know how food taste anymore or how your body reacts to certain foods.

You are on prescribed diet plans and on autopilot when it comes to eating.

Fortunately there are more and more famous people are standing up against body shaming, which means more and more of us can let go of the idea that our body needs to be fixed.

Only then we can have a shot at developing a more relaxed relationship with food. Why?

Having a normal relationship with food is possible. A relationship without all the food noises in our head about what we should, could or must eat in order to feel good about ourselves. A relationship where our self-esteem and self-worth is not attached to how good or bad we eat.

How do you start to develop a normal relationship with food?

 It starts with self-trust.

Most of us need some structure when we first want to eat like a normal eater. When food is just food and we can embrace it’s physical and emotional aspect of it. When […]

One Habit To Gain Self-Confidence

Even though I became very comfortable with my body and weight in the last couple of years,   I can still catch myself going into self-loathing and self-judgment around my body from time to time.

The other day I attended an event, which I enjoyed a lot but I found myself comparing my body to other women and not in a good way. I was critical with myself regarding my body-esteem and even the “fat feeling” came up suddenly in my mind.

These are the times when I really have to practice what I preach in my work.

I knew I needed to use one of the many tools I use to get over my bad body feeling, so I could be in my body again feeling confident, which could allow me to enjoy the event all the way in.

I am aware of that the “fat feeling” can come up in reaction to some kind of insecurity.

I suddenly felt the urge and the need to be able to control a situation that night in order to have a certain outcome. I wanted to control a situation so I could control how other people felt about me.

I quickly decided to shift my perception and […]

Do You Know How To Maintain Relationships Where you Feel Content?

When we get home and our partner, friend, family member doesn’t do what he/she is supposed to we can easily lose it and get upset.

Staying in a supportive relationship can be challenging if we don’t know how to communicate what we want.

Are you aggressive, passive aggressive or assertive in your relationships?
Aggressive behavior:
How does an aggressive request sound?

“I just got home and you didn’t clean the kitchen you promised. This is the least you could have done. How about doing something else like picking up the dry cleaning? You never do anything right even if you promise it. You are useless.”

Aggressive behavior

Infringements the rights of others
Ignores the need and opinion of others
Involves inappropriate expression of feelings and emotions

Feeling weak or threatened can trigger aggressiveness. Being passive in relationships for a while can also turn us into an aggressive monster.
Passive Aggressive behavior:
How does a passive aggressive request sound?

“I just got home and you didn’t clean the kitchen you promised. I know you had a pedicure and had met your friend for an hour before that, while I was at work. Would you mind cleaning up the apartment? But just if you are not too busy”

In passive aggressive behavior we don’t really stand up […]

What If You Can Be Happy While You Are Sad? (PART III.)

When you physically injure yourself, you instantly try to get over the pain to feel better. We do this instinctively because when we were children our caretakers would drop everything to take care of our physical injury. As adults we continue the same pattern.

We instantly take care of our physical injuries. How about psychological or emotional injuries?

If you haven’t read Part I. yet click here and if you haven’t read part Part II. then click here.

The 7 main common psychological injuries are:

Rejection
Loneliness
Loss and trauma
Guilt
Rumination
Failure
Low self-esteem

In part I. we discussed rejection and loneliness and in Part II. we discussed loss and trauma, guilt and rumination.

This week I am going to talk about:

Failure
Low self-esteem

Failure

Once we get injured physically or we get sick we alter our activities until we recover. We drink more, sleep more or eat differently what we used to.

The same should go with emotional/mental injuries in order to fully recover.

If we don’t take our time to recover our physical illness can take longer to heal and our psychological injury can cause more damage in our mental/emotional health than we think.

Failure is something we all go through in life. But we are impacted differently. Our conditioning and the way we grew up can have […]

What If You Can Be Happy While You Are Sad? (PART II.)

When you physically injure yourself, you instantly try to get over the pain to feel better. We do this instinctively because when we were children our caretakers would drop everything to take care of our physical injury. As adults we continue the same pattern.

We instantly take care of our physical injuries. How about psychological or emotional injuries?

If you haven’t read Part I. yet please click here.

The 7 main common psychological injuries are:

Rejection
Loneliness
Loss and trauma
Guilt
Rumination
Failure
Low self-esteem

In part I. we discussed rejection and loneliness.

This week I am going to talk about:

Loss and trauma
Guilt
Rumination

#3 Loss And Trauma

As Winch describes it, losing a loved one, being victims of violence or crime, becoming disabled or developing a chronic or life threatening illness can derail our lives and leave deep psychological wounds.

Many of them require the skills of expert mental health professionals.

We also have everyday psychological injuries that can cause emotional damage, such as losing a job, or being betrayed and left behind by a best friend.

Dealing with the aftermath of emotional distress can be overwhelming and can inflict 3 emotional wounds we need to be aware of.

Loss and trauma

Takes away our self-perception, our roles and our very sense of identity.
Tragic events often change our fundamental perception of […]

What If You Can Be Happy While You Are Sad? (PART I.)

When you physically injure yourself, you instantly try to get over the pain to feel better. We do this instinctively because when we were children our caretakers would drop everything to take care of our physical injury. As adults we continue the same pattern.

We instantly take care of our physical injuries. How about psychological or emotional injuries?

There are 2 groups of people. People who are legitimately struggling with addictions, depression or abuse and there are healthy people. But there are a whole bunch of us who are in between these two groups and who are struggling with numbing.

We compulsively and chronically numb ourselves from psychological and emotional injuries.

Whether it is watching too much TV, zoning out on social media for hours, numbing ourselves with food, alcohol or co-dependency we use numbing as a shield against psychological injuries.

We numb ourselves to hide from vulnerability.

Watching your favorite show, checking social media for updates or just indulging in your favorite pie can be rewarding, uplifting and comforting. But what about when you do these things often to avoid life and don’t feel re-charged after, then that’s nothing more then chronic and compulsive numbing from our lives.

One of my favorite books on how to heal common emotional […]

6 Profound Ways To Become A Happier Person

Happiness is something we all want to feel. When you’re happy you feel connected to yourself you feel confident and purposeful. Although happiness might show up in different places in your body as a physical sensation, it always feels so dam good.

We humans are emotional creators. We have emotions and the quality of our life is based on the quality where we live emotionally.

We were all born with a unique personality. Social and environmental conditioning can enhance our born with personality. Happy people tend to be happy even in bad circumstances and sad or angry people find a way to be angry or sad even if their life is good.

[Tweet “True happiness doesn’t lie in trying to get happy. The power lies in making happiness a habit.”]

Defining happiness is multi-dimensional and here are 6 ways to look at it.
Habit change
If you want to live in a different state of mind which effects your emotional and mental well-being, change your default set from being unhappy to being happy.

Training your brain to see the good in every situation is possible.

You can always learn something from every bad situation in your life. Sometimes we learn how handle or react to things differently or […]

How Stop Being Hungry In Order To Manage Your Weight

Both the diet and fitness industry tell you that weight issues are a physical problem and if you want to overcome them, they, must be solved with a physical solution. Hence, you try to shrink your body through diets and exercise. We have a tendency to look at our health and weight struggles from the physical perspective only.

Of course, getting essential nutrients from food and being physically active is crucial to our health. But if we look at weight management from a holistic point of view, it is much more than just physical. Mental attitude or social relationships including family, work and community are also important contributors.

If you want to return to your ideal weight and feel like you are at your best, you have 2 choices. You can get on a new diet and exercise regime – again - or you can try to do something else. This article is about that something else. You may believe it or not, but weight issues can arise from different hunger cues:

Physical hunger: You are hungry for food. Sustained energy (stable blood sugar levels) is only possible if you are eating enough as well as the right types of food.

Emotional hunger: You […]

How to Become the Best Version of Yourself? (Part II.)

Before you dive into this article make sure you read Part I.

“If we want to engage with the world from a place of worthiness, we have to talk about the things that get in the way – especially shame, fear and vulnerability.” Brené Brown

A truly life changing book can help you in this transition. Brené Brown, (Ph.D., L.M.S.W, is a writer, research professor) is the author of “The Gifts of Imperfection” a book that aims to show how “Let go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to be and Embrace Who You Are”.

In her groundbreaking book, she explains why lack of self-worth and lack of self-love are the root cause of feeling not good enough, and explores the reason why we numb ourselves (for example with food), why we shrink ourselves and why we are not brave enough to show up in our lives with our true self.

Her work includes a full understanding of how the shame tapes and gremlins keep us feeling afraid and small.

“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belongings. Shame keeps worthiness away by convincing us that owning our stories will lead to people thinking […]

How to Become the Best Version of Yourself? (Part I.)

The way we think about ourselves starts when we are young. We realize early on in our lives that being liked and being popular feels good. We discover that physical appearance can be a great tool for gaining popularity.

Instead of focusing on what we like about ourselves and what we desire, we start to focus on our desirability.

[Tweet “The perception of our body image becomes loaded with cultural expectations.”]

We find ourselves learning how society thinks we ought look, however these images and expectations have nothing to do with how happy we truly feel inside.

Most of us think if we can look better by losing weight, being thinner or looking tighter and leaner, only then we will became the best version of ourselves.

We are conditioned to think this way, mainly through the social conditioning and cultural expectations we are surrounded by. We think that if our body image is on the top of the mountain we will get the love the job, the friends or the life we want and we will be happy.

Food gets a lot of attention but here is the real question:

What is it that we want to control in our life?

As we zoom out from the […]