Mindset

How To Turn Food Hell Into Food Well? 2 Ways To Find The Answer

It has only been recently in the last 2 decades - when thinness became a new beauty standard – and since then women and girls all around the world has started to struggling with food.

Industries like the fitness, weigh loss or diet industry have been created to help us to feel better about ourselves.

Food has become our best friends and worst enemies.

We have a “diet brain”, which leads to negative self-talk since you are scared of food. Because you don’t know what food will do to your body, you “food shame” and “food guilt” yourself every time you eat or don’t eat something.

Welcome in food hell! And this is not the life you imagined for yourself, right?

Here are my 2 specific strategies to help find your way out of food hell and find your way back to food well:

#1: Watch what you think instead of what you eat

Food is not a mistake. Stop labeling food choices. Don’t make food “wrong” or “right”. You are not eating a poison that will kill you in a second.

The poison is in your state of mind in your belief. If you set your mind free and let go all the compulsive behavior around food […]

33 Clues You Lost Your Good Relationship With Food

Go over the list and be honest with yourself:

Think your authentic self is skinny, you are just not there yet.
Think thinness is a beauty standard. You think your life can only be beautiful if your body is beautiful.
Weigh yourself
 for weight purposes.
Stay home alone on nights when there are great parties going on just because you don’t think you are thin enough to look good and have fun.
Avoid fats or carbs for weight loss purpose.
Eating is not a pleasurable experience but something that you do quickly, standing up, sometimes hidden from others.
Don’t like to see how much you eat, so you don’t even put your food on a plate.
Count your bites/calories/points/grams or anything you think will help you to manage your weight.
You eat fast, don’t chew your food, it’s almost like you try not to notice that you are actually eating. You are out of your body.
Make rules (not guidelines) regarding your eating habits. E.g. “no carbs with fat” or “no food after 8pm”.
Compare your body to other women who you think are happier just because they have a better body and you try to look like them.
Think you can only have fun when you deserve it, which is when […]

How Can You Eat Less To Manage Your Weight?

I’m a kind of girl who feels fit and healthy when my clothing size is in between 4-6. This is where my natural weight falls overall.

Oh, yes I could be a size 0 with lots of exercise and low carbohydrate eating but who cares if I am not happier but crankier eventually.

Traditional weight management program’s success is based on recommending to eat less calories, less fat, less carbohydrate, less protein, you name it. And it does work for a while.

Although the more you choose this approach the more control you will have around what you eat. And you like control, right? Control=Success

Then as you deprive or restrict yourself more and more from certain foods you will binge or overeat. I am sure you know what I am talking about. And the weight comes back no matter how much you have lost.

What if there is another way to “control” your appetitive? Where you can eat freely?

I love melted chocolate. I could easily overeat or binge on it if I don’t allow myself to eat it for weight loss purposes.

So far there is one way I don’t feel lost in the amount of chocolate. And I truly enjoy every bite of the […]

Why Giving Up On Dieting Is the Best Thing You Can Do?

Countless women and girls go on diets to lose weight but it never works. Meaning we can lose weight by dieting but the weight creeps back at some point in the long run for sure.

I did it for about 2 decades and then I gave up.

Hope it is not going to take you that much time.

Even though the diet culture is so loud and present in our lives, it cannot work.

Being sucked into the diet culture works on the fact that dieting for weight loss purpose does not work in the long run.

Here are the 12 reasons why the diet industry is a big scam:

#1: We’ve been conditioned to believe that the way our body looks is tied to how we live our lives. The way our body looks will eventually make or break us in life. We either end up happy or miserable based on our body size.

#2: We are conditioned to believe that our self-worth and self-esteem is based on our look. You are socialized to believe that you are unhappy because you don’t look good enough for some cultural standards.

#3: So you start dieting in order to fix your body. You either eat fewer calories or eating fewer fats, carb […]

How My Struggle Pushed Me Into Happiness

We might feel drawn to start dieting in order to stay healthy but what I found is that the hidden cause of dieting is to lose weight at the end.

I would like to tell you my story about how setting my goal to actually GIVE UP dieting became a game changer for me.

I made a conscious choice to give up dieting forever many years ago on a Christmas Eve, after being on and off diets for about 2 decades.

I decided to eat whatever I wanted and whenever I wanted. As soon as I did that my food hell went away and I felt enormous mental freedom around food.

But there was this little voice in my mind, which got stronger in my head saying:

You will blow up like a balloon.
You will die very unhealthy, heavy and feeling pain in your body.
Your body will change so much, no one will recognize you.

As I listened carefully to the voice in my head I realized 1 thing:

While my food issues were gone as I felt a sense of freedom and I felt no shame, guilt and self-judgment around my food choices anymore, this time I started to shame my own body.

My body and I […]

How To Get Rid Of Feeling Ashamed After Binging Or Overeating?

I have been in a place many times in my life when my low body esteem would make me jump on diet plans.

And then, once I ate something I shouldn’t have eaten based on my diet plan -  in order to manage my weight - it could trigger me into feeling ashamed of my own behavior, which led me to binging or overeating even more.

Shame is a silent epidemic and is universal. For women and girls the #1 shame is body image.

Unwanted identities such as “how you suppose to look like” can come from:

Families
Cultural messages
Stereotypes

By being aware of how you talk to yourself – the little voice inside your head when it kicks in saying you ate too much, you blew it or you are disgusting – can make a huge difference how to overcome feeling of shame after a binge.

You can choose to have another voice, a conscious voice in your mind, which is a much softer and kinder voice while you are practicing shame resilience.

Just think about it: the compulsiveness around food whether that is binging or overeating wouldn’t even bother you if you didn’t have body shame.

Most likely you couldn’t care less about emotional eating to begin with if you had zero bad […]

How Do You Start Living Your Life Without The Guilt Driven Food Noises In Your Mind?

Old thinking goes away slowly and an old pattern can easily creep back into my life before I even realize it’s happened.

I visited a friend of mine at home yesterday for dinner. The moment I arrived we went to the kitchen and the smell of the kitchen reminded me of my childhood how my mother would spend her whole day making my favorite foods.

It felt like pleasure, freedom and enjoyment passing through my body.

We sat down to chitchat and then we started to eat as soon as she was finished cooking.

And then what happened is a bit of a blur.

The next thing I remember my belly felt completely stuffed. If you want to put it into technical terms, I overate like I used to.

When I got home I felt the heaviness in my belly and had a hard time falling asleep.

This morning when I woke up, I had the same thought in my mind that has pursued me for at least for 2 decades, and which hadn’t bothered me in some time:

“My doorway to happiness is my thin, lean body and since I overate yesterday now it’s time to take control of my food intake at least for a couple […]

Can You Figure Out How To Feel Confident in Your Body Regardless Your Size?

How can I feel great in my body every day?

Most of you who are interested reading articles like this might be ready to hear the ultimate solution but maybe not. But you are here searching, which is already a half win.

Yes, you can overcome:

Chronic dieting - for weight loss purpose
Years or decades of weight struggles - because you don’t feel good enough
Hating your body - just for the sake of trying to get or be thinner.

At some point in your life when the pain, hopelessness and struggle is bigger than the desire to get and stay skinny, you will be ready to hear what I have to say here.

When you ready to surrender to give up to be a certain size that you have constantly had a problem reaching or staying at in the first place, you will find happiness, peace and just pure joy at the end of the road.

Struggling with your weight can originate out of physical hunger (dieting) that leads to binging. Emotional dieting (compulsive behavior with food) exists as a coping mechanism to overcome or deal with your emotions and feelings, which can lead to weight issues as well.

This article discovers how to overcome the diet […]

Why Isn’t Knowing What You Want Enough?

When I was a little girl I dreamt about becoming a professional dancer.

When I was a professional dancer I dreamt about having an intellectual job in an office as a manager of some kind.

When I felt big or fat in my body I dreamt of being thin and lean.

I spent 15 years of my life as a professional dancer and I spent 10 years of my life as a TV executive. I worked diligently in both of these professions for 25 years straight, without quitting.

I then spent the next 20 years of my life gaining and losing the same 20 pounds without ever being able to stay lean, thin or feel good enough in my body.

When it came down to my career as a dancer and choreographer:

I always knew at some point in my life I would be a professional dancer.
I never doubted for a second that I was not a good enough dancer.
Deep down in my heart I always knew without anybody telling me that I was indeed a talented and diligent dancer who would make it to the big stage.

When it came down to my career as a TV executive:

Without former experience I always knew I could become a […]

Do You Know How To Maintain Relationships Where you Feel Content?

When we get home and our partner, friend, family member doesn’t do what he/she is supposed to we can easily lose it and get upset.

Staying in a supportive relationship can be challenging if we don’t know how to communicate what we want.

Are you aggressive, passive aggressive or assertive in your relationships?
Aggressive behavior:
How does an aggressive request sound?

“I just got home and you didn’t clean the kitchen you promised. This is the least you could have done. How about doing something else like picking up the dry cleaning? You never do anything right even if you promise it. You are useless.”

Aggressive behavior

Infringements the rights of others
Ignores the need and opinion of others
Involves inappropriate expression of feelings and emotions

Feeling weak or threatened can trigger aggressiveness. Being passive in relationships for a while can also turn us into an aggressive monster.
Passive Aggressive behavior:
How does a passive aggressive request sound?

“I just got home and you didn’t clean the kitchen you promised. I know you had a pedicure and had met your friend for an hour before that, while I was at work. Would you mind cleaning up the apartment? But just if you are not too busy”

In passive aggressive behavior we don’t really stand up […]