Mindset

Do You Want To Be thin?

“Magical thinking” is when you buy into the idea that becoming thin will give you a key to happiness paradise.

You think thinness magically will solve your life and you don’t have to deal with annoying people, paying the bills or standing up for yourself and you can still be yourself.

You learned this from movies, magazines, billboards, etc. You are not alone in this.

Your “scarcity mindset” makes you think this way. The mindset of which, “only when” you get thin you can get to “happiness land”.

In reality neither thinness nor fatness have any meaning or value. You are the only one who gives it such values because you were modeled to think that way.

You don’t want to be thin. You just want respect, love and connection. You just want to be successful, feeling loved and feeling beautiful. You want power and you want to be free.

And you can get them without being thin. Here is how:

Choose people around you, who are “body positive”. Who don’t freak out if you are not a certain size. A size that only they think you should have in order to mitigate their insecurity through you in the world.

Hope this helps,

Annie

 

Are You Often Having A “Fat Feeling”?

So many of us are struggling with weight, yet still don’t understand what we really mean when we say common things like for example: “Oh I feel fat”.

When you are obsessed with losing weight to be a certain size there is a reason for it. And the reason is that you think you will get certain things when you reach the desired number.

Of course you didn’t wake up one day thinking this way, as a culture and society teaches you to think this way.

Struggling with weight can be a daily hassle, full time job for you so much so that you might forget the big picture what you are really after.

Here is a reminder what you really mean when you say: “I am having a fat feeling”

You never feel fat in a vacuum. When you feel uncertain, insecure or afraid over not having control in your life “fat feeling” can wash you over.
Fat feeling is a form of insecurity.
To get rid of your “fat feeling”, you try to control your body to lose weight, to get thinner, etc. Because you think when you do that you will be able to control other areas of your life.
Fat feeling is never about […]

If You Are Not Happy Read This

As the world is coming at you with it’s expectations for you to be happy at any cost, you might also think that being happy means having a great social life - (friends, family, colleagues) and social status (job, car, house) -  is what you are suppose to aim for.

Even if “being happy” suggests that happiness is not “doing happy” but “being happy”, most of us think happiness is about getting stuff and having people around us.

So many of us work hard to get the physical stuff in order to be happy only to realize we are not quite happy yet. So we will want something else now.

It’s a perspective you take on things whether they go on your way or not.

Being happy means you don’t give up when you lose your job only look at it as a learning opportunity.

Being happy means you don’t get depressed when someone leaves you, only realize how much you’ve learned about what you need or don’t in a relationship.

Being happy means look for the positive instead of the negative. Being happy means you take a perspective that gives you the most peace of mind.

Being happy means you look for what you can love […]

Why Compulsive Eating Is BS?

Are you a binge eater? Do you overeat? Do you like to numb out on food? Well you are not alone.

Eating disorders are on the rise and somehow we can’t seem to understand the root cause of the issue, which is body shame, low body-esteem issue and weight struggles.

If we didn’t care so much about our body to try to use it to solve our problem, which is to fit into society, food would loose its power over us.

Instead of focusing on why you binge, let’s use our language to help us to feel better about ourselves while we are re-building our relationship with food.

 Labeling behaviors where you identify yourself with the label - I’m a binge eater or I have an eating disorder - is not going to help you to re-build your relationship with food.

Next time you eat compulsively in the form of binge eating, overeating, etc. think about your eating behavior this way:

I just ate past of point of fullness. I just ate a bunch of food. That’s it. Isn’t doesn’t that feel so much better?

Stop using our language to make yourself feel worse than you should.

Mental conditioning such as guilt and shame around food only […]

If You Want To Get Back Your Sanity Around Food Read This

If you are dieting long enough you might get to a point in your life where your sanity around food is more important than losing weight.

The only way to regain your sanity around food is when you can live with true allowance.

The only exception to this when you have a medical reason to not eat certain food. For example when you can’t eat gluten because you have celiac disease.

Other than that I suggest you to have a counterargument with yourself why you shouldn’t have a peace of cake and by not eating, what that might bring on yourself later.

Here is what I mean:

Why eating a peace of cake is good for you? Why is it actually mentally, emotionally, a good, healthy choice?

Because when you let yourself have it, it will prevent you from acting out on the cake in the future.

Let’s assume you want to eat a peace of cake but you are afraid of gaining weight. And you are not only afraid of gaining weight but you know you will gain weight.

So for 1 thing for sure cake will make you fat.

I want you to bring the other side of the argument on the table, which I call the […]

Let’s Debunk 6 Myths About Dieting, Weight Loss And Beauty Standards

What creates unhealthy relationship with food is the long term dieting for the sole purpose of weight loss.

Long term dieting builds shame, guilt, and judgments around food.

I had my own share of struggle with diets, hence struggling with food.

I am going to debunk 6 myths about dieting, weight loss and beauty standards.

Diet Is What You Need To Reach Happiness:

Eating when you are hungry, stopping when you are full is natural but when you are focused on dogmatically follow a diet (when, what and how much to eat by the T) you can’t focus on your life.

Your brain is occupied with all its mental bandwidth and willpower to keep up on with your demands to control food and your body.

How could you accomplish anything when your brain is already taken? Obsessing and shaming yourself over food or weight takes a lot of mental concentration.

It’s time to make a change when you find yourself in this trap.

Deprivation Is A Great Motivator For Weight Loss:

Dieting means restricting food, which will ultimately lead to binging or overeating. You know that. The stress that you create by not allowing yourself what you want can be worse than sugar, gluten or grain deprivation combined.

If you can’t […]

What’s The Secret Of Normal Eaters And How Can You Become One Of Them?

If for the most part of your life you are trying to lose weight or keep the weight off probably your relationship with food is pretty screwed up.

Most likely you don’t even know how food taste anymore or how your body reacts to certain foods.

You are on prescribed diet plans and on autopilot when it comes to eating.

Fortunately there are more and more famous people are standing up against body shaming, which means more and more of us can let go of the idea that our body needs to be fixed.

Only then we can have a shot at developing a more relaxed relationship with food. Why?

Having a normal relationship with food is possible. A relationship without all the food noises in our head about what we should, could or must eat in order to feel good about ourselves. A relationship where our self-esteem and self-worth is not attached to how good or bad we eat.

How do you start to develop a normal relationship with food?

 It starts with self-trust.

Most of us need some structure when we first want to eat like a normal eater. When food is just food and we can embrace it’s physical and emotional aspect of it. When […]

How Can You Improve Your Body Image And Why Do You Need To?

If you are just like many women and girls around the world I am sure you are also trained/conditioned to hate your body to some extent.

The diet and weight loss industry can greatly benefit from your desire to wanting to have another body.

Feeling better about your body without losing a pound or being able to look at your body from a perspective of appreciation and pure acceptance requires a perception shift in mind.

There are situations in life that can be looked as “factual circumstances” or “the stories we attach to the factual circumstances”.

For example a factual circumstance is to recognize that we live in a world where “size prejudice” or “thin privilege” is a form of weight discrimination. That’s a fact. You can see it everywhere as shape and size are indicators of moral characters, intelligence or success.

Now you can choose how you want to synthesize that information in your mind. You can choose what you want to make that information mean to you, which has nothing to do with facts but it has to do with your bias.

Your assumptions that shape and size are indicators of character, morality, intelligence, or success are incorrect and unjust. This is only the […]

One Habit To Gain Self-Confidence

Even though I became very comfortable with my body and weight in the last couple of years,   I can still catch myself going into self-loathing and self-judgment around my body from time to time.

The other day I attended an event, which I enjoyed a lot but I found myself comparing my body to other women and not in a good way. I was critical with myself regarding my body-esteem and even the “fat feeling” came up suddenly in my mind.

These are the times when I really have to practice what I preach in my work.

I knew I needed to use one of the many tools I use to get over my bad body feeling, so I could be in my body again feeling confident, which could allow me to enjoy the event all the way in.

I am aware of that the “fat feeling” can come up in reaction to some kind of insecurity.

I suddenly felt the urge and the need to be able to control a situation that night in order to have a certain outcome. I wanted to control a situation so I could control how other people felt about me.

I quickly decided to shift my perception and […]

Are You Trying To Control The Universe Through Controlling Your Weight?

Being able to control something is a myth but we tend to rely on it because it gives us a sense of safety and security.

As much as we are trying to control people in order to get control over their opinions about us we also want to control our weight.

Most of you ladies I am sure you are convinced if you can control your weight you will be able to control other things in your life, which has nothing to do with look.

You get on diets to lose weight only because you believe weight loss is going to get you or bring you things that are completely non-weight related social proofs such as: respect, kindness, romantic interest or promotion.

You also want to manage your weight so you can minimize being ridiculed, criticized or rejected.

I used to indulge myself in the delusion that the day will come when I lose weight and I will find the perfect partner/relationship. The only reason I was still single or unhappy because I haven’t found the one yet.

And this thought served me pretty well because all of my problems seemed to get solved by going on diets and extreme exercise regimes.

I convinced myself that with […]