The degree to which you are okay with your weight is the degree to which you have sanity around food.
But poor body image or craziness around food can’t be solved on the level of weight or food problems.
In order to stop struggling with food and weight once and for all, it requires an understanding of the issue on a different level.
Society teaches women to think that being thin is a social value.
Being thin is a symbol of a certain social status like belonging to the upper class.
get link Discrimination on the basis of weight is real.
As much as thin privilege is real also weight bias is real as well.
source Controlling ones weight through dieting is oppression toward women.
Even though beauty standards have been always around, being thin only has become considered beautiful in the last 20-30 years.
We unconsciously associate thin with smart, trustworthy or kind and associate fat with lazy, dirty or less smart.
This is not even your fault. It was modeled to you by society standards.
Once you get clear about the social and cultural issues we women face, it is going to be much easer to understand your struggle with weight and food.
You can understand your fear of fat and your constant judging around food.
Once you gain perspective on this matter you have a choice to be part of the problem or stand outside of it.
Your life, your choice.
Hope this helps,